I took a self-defense class at a friend's studio last night, and was so proud of the fact that I finally did something for me.  No hangups, no worries that I was dong something that took me away from the "normal." It was a great class, and I am feeling the pain today, especially in my abs.  It was great and empowering.  Really lifted my spirits.
It is funny how sometimes when you are surrounded by people you still feel so lonely.  I want to be ok being alone.  I don't like the feeling of something or someone missing from my life.  It is a misrepresentation of where I am in this life.  I have a ton of responsibilities and I love my family dearly, yet I still feel broken and not quite whole.  A man should never be a source of completeness.  I think that love is a beautiful thing and a very difficult wound to heal when it goes away.   Love leaves a void in the heart when it goes away and the beloved person leaves footprints that remain far after the rain washes them away.